ok... i'm thinking the old me needs to meet the new me... the midnight blogger me needs to me the drunken monkey me. lets set up an appointment for my two personas to collide.
but honestly, there is a lot of things in this new world that i have let slide. alot of things that i have done that i've said that i'll never do... don't get me wrong bitches. its still the same me. i have not lost an ounce of my level-headedness, but when i asked for progress i began to digresss.
its stressin me how, things don't work the way that they used to anymore. if i'm a better me today than i was yesterday why the fuck aren't i a happier me? how does that work. its a cold twisted world. and success is like a deal with the devil... everything comes at a price, and nothing is perfect.
remember that, if anything, you will always have the love and support of good friends and great family to fall back on... oops, nope you won't have that either. because if you are successful enough, but not smart enough, your family will become more and more of a burden, and your friends will become your entourage. some people will be there some of the time, but not everyone you love and care about will truly be there all of the time.
the sad truth is that, i've forgotten why the old me was made that way... yes i was made... i was made into a woman with little patience, strong presence, and outgoing personality... i blame it on the life experiences that have taught me to be the person i am unapologetically.
so here i am asking myself why change? why aim for success? why stresss to be a better person? its all good in theory but its not me, and i can't apologize for being me. i will progresss.. i will not be the same woman tomorrow as i was today, but i just needed to get that off my chest.
in 2006 i took no shit, in 2007 i did some alot of shit, in 2008 i took some shit and got into less shit and in 2009 i plan to do what i want and get what i want the old fashioned way without totally and completely losing the person that i strived to be. why waste all the hard work?
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